Who does it better?
Today's women who balance domestic and professional lives with self-assurance have changed age-old patriarchal notions
Photo: Bloomberg news HIS AND HERS A woman who tends to use more sides of her brain is associated with tact, diplomacy and social sensitivity
Is a woman more intelligent than a man? Or is this question silly or irrelevant in the year 2005 when women take rapid strides along with men? Whatever said and done, scientists are continuously exploring the gender gaps in the brains of men and women. Old myths on who excels at what are changing. Thanks to new brain imaging technology, a tour of the brain gives a good look at the living brain as it operates and grows.
New images show that the brain of both men and women are ever changing not just in response to hormones and aging but also in response to motivation, lifestyles, practice and medication. What the brain does best is to change and adapt. Its ability to change is phenomenal. Due to women's empowerment, the gender of the brain is slowly becoming more and more irrelevant and less of a deciding factor. Science, industry and certain other fields are still a man's world, many feel. Or are they? Not any longer, for today an increasing number of girls opts for engineering and technical courses.
The balance thus equalises as more women today refuse to be typecast in conventional, docile roles. Women were also discouraged from holding important positions on the assumption that they would quit on marrying or entering motherhood. Today's women who balance domestic and professional lives with self-assurance and style have changed that concept. Thus will the brains of both sexes be identical before long? Will man's and woman's behaviour and responses turn alike? Still certain distinct patterns that differentiate a man and a woman are still visible in the brain — though for how long is not sure.
A man's brain is around 10 per cent larger than a woman's. But, as once assumed, size does not determine intelligence. Studies are thus moving away from the fixation with size. Research shows men are more prone to say and do things unmindful of how they will affect others. And this increases with age, for a tissue behind the forehead concerning self-control and consequences wears off. A woman who tends to use more sides of her brain on the other hand is associated with tact, diplomacy and social sensitivity required of high profile university leaders. Woman school principals are thus outnumbering men in today's world.
Sentiments and emotions are also handled differently. Women utilising better the regions that handle language and higher functions narrate and discuss their emotions and feelings, while men who do their thinking with more focussed sides of the brain keep their worries low profile and carry on. Men are thus at times considered insensitive. With regard to verbal skills, women score. Other differences still visible pertain to perception. A man and a woman would see totally different things on observing a landscape, say scientists. Women see and feel things that men don't. They can also smell and notice colours and textures, which men cannot.
With change being the only permanent feature today, the futuristic lifestyles of the sexes would be interesting to conjure. As more and more men share household duties and more and more women venture into areas that were strictly male, the direction of both sexes seems to head for a common point. What will be the outcome of the pursuit for this mutual meeting ground? Will the new roles of both sexes create an odd and unusual society? Or will there be perfect harmony? Let's wait and watch.
HEMJIT BHARATHAN
Sunday, May 2, 2010
My article published in The Hindu
Keeping the flame alive
The joint venture of marriage is on shaky ground in these changing times. Couples who have enjoyed this relationship for half a century and more tell Hemjit Bharathan it's all about adjustment
It is the same old love story. A few years into marriage and love is out the window. Never has this been truer than it is today with divorces and separations on the rise.
Nothing is more complicated and incomprehensible than love. Sustaining it in long-term, committed relationships is tricky. Love needs to be navigated, steered for its upkeep and maintenance. So how do couples married for forty to fifty years keep the flame of love burning? Parvathy and Narayanan who are celebrating their golden jubilee wedding year feel that certain faults in each other have to be ignored for a smooth innings of married life.
"Married life calls for a little bit of playacting," admits Narayanan good-humouredly. Though a man and woman are equal but to satisfy a man's ego a woman's intuition should lead her to act that she is inferior and helpless. The damsel in distress has always boosted a man's self-image." True, for isn't life a stage and are we not the actors as the famous playwright quoted?
"Communication is an important factor. Nothing should be bottled up and feelings should be expressed. It is important to spend time together. But TV has resulted in less interaction and exchange of ideas. Today's couples also give undue importance to entertainments and material enjoyment. Marriage should never be taken lightly. Stable marriages are the finest examples for today's youth and is the back bone of society," adds Narayanan
Adjustment
Parvathy opines, "There is no special behaviour code for husbands and wives. But one has to adjust, adjust and again adjust for compatibility. Tiffs and quarrels are part of married life and do not decrease with years. In fact it can even increase. But they should be taken lightly and should not be too often. Temper has to be controlled for sometimes nasty and unforgivable accusations are uttered shaking the foundation of the relationship. As couples advance in age their social lives get restricted. Children are away with their own problems. Friends also hardly drop in. It is then couples realise that they have only each other."
"Once you have learnt the ropes it is easy," feel Chandramathy Menon and R.K.Menon who are only a few years away from celebrating 50 years of their marriage. "Domination is less today," admits R. K. Menon.
"But a sad fact is that husbands and wives have become separate entities today. Attitudes have changed. Marriage was a joint venture earlier. There was more intimacy earlier as wives were always near their husbands. But today each pursues his/her own interests. Thus interaction is almost nil which is not a good trend. Birthday and anniversary gifts, which have become obligatory, should not form the yardstick to measure love."
Chandramathy relies on her woman's intuition to skilfully handle complexities like ego problems, something that results when two people share a roof.
"At first tolerance was one-sided. Only his decisions mattered. My opinions were ignored. But over a matter of time I dealt with things in such a way that my decisions were gradually delivered by him as his decisions," she discloses light-heartedly.
Communication
Anne and Jerome who are celebrating 55 years of their marriage this year feel that conversation between couples is very important. But couples should know not only when to talk but when to keep mum. "Sharing the same roof for years can lead to a lot of irritation. Thus marriage is a lifetime of adjustment. Couples should make that extra effort to please each other. As Jerome loves inviting guests I use my culinary skills to entertain them and I know he is pleased," says Anne revealing her use of diplomacy and thoughtfulness.
For Jerome, "Couples today only criticise but never praise or encourage each other. Thus a conscious effort should be made to compliment each other. Love should be demonstrated. Physical intimacy should not be confined to the bedroom. Holding hands or placing an arm round the other's shoulders while talking or watching T.V. helps in fostering intimacy.
Marriage, like other institutions is a continuous process of learning."
Nothing is as complex as the man-woman relationship. Perhaps this quote from a famous poet sums it best. "As unto the bow the cord is, so unto the man is woman. Although she bends him yet she obeys him. Although she draws him yet she follows him. Useless each without the other."
The joint venture of marriage is on shaky ground in these changing times. Couples who have enjoyed this relationship for half a century and more tell Hemjit Bharathan it's all about adjustment
It is the same old love story. A few years into marriage and love is out the window. Never has this been truer than it is today with divorces and separations on the rise.
Nothing is more complicated and incomprehensible than love. Sustaining it in long-term, committed relationships is tricky. Love needs to be navigated, steered for its upkeep and maintenance. So how do couples married for forty to fifty years keep the flame of love burning? Parvathy and Narayanan who are celebrating their golden jubilee wedding year feel that certain faults in each other have to be ignored for a smooth innings of married life.
"Married life calls for a little bit of playacting," admits Narayanan good-humouredly. Though a man and woman are equal but to satisfy a man's ego a woman's intuition should lead her to act that she is inferior and helpless. The damsel in distress has always boosted a man's self-image." True, for isn't life a stage and are we not the actors as the famous playwright quoted?
"Communication is an important factor. Nothing should be bottled up and feelings should be expressed. It is important to spend time together. But TV has resulted in less interaction and exchange of ideas. Today's couples also give undue importance to entertainments and material enjoyment. Marriage should never be taken lightly. Stable marriages are the finest examples for today's youth and is the back bone of society," adds Narayanan
Adjustment
Parvathy opines, "There is no special behaviour code for husbands and wives. But one has to adjust, adjust and again adjust for compatibility. Tiffs and quarrels are part of married life and do not decrease with years. In fact it can even increase. But they should be taken lightly and should not be too often. Temper has to be controlled for sometimes nasty and unforgivable accusations are uttered shaking the foundation of the relationship. As couples advance in age their social lives get restricted. Children are away with their own problems. Friends also hardly drop in. It is then couples realise that they have only each other."
"Once you have learnt the ropes it is easy," feel Chandramathy Menon and R.K.Menon who are only a few years away from celebrating 50 years of their marriage. "Domination is less today," admits R. K. Menon.
"But a sad fact is that husbands and wives have become separate entities today. Attitudes have changed. Marriage was a joint venture earlier. There was more intimacy earlier as wives were always near their husbands. But today each pursues his/her own interests. Thus interaction is almost nil which is not a good trend. Birthday and anniversary gifts, which have become obligatory, should not form the yardstick to measure love."
Chandramathy relies on her woman's intuition to skilfully handle complexities like ego problems, something that results when two people share a roof.
"At first tolerance was one-sided. Only his decisions mattered. My opinions were ignored. But over a matter of time I dealt with things in such a way that my decisions were gradually delivered by him as his decisions," she discloses light-heartedly.
Communication
Anne and Jerome who are celebrating 55 years of their marriage this year feel that conversation between couples is very important. But couples should know not only when to talk but when to keep mum. "Sharing the same roof for years can lead to a lot of irritation. Thus marriage is a lifetime of adjustment. Couples should make that extra effort to please each other. As Jerome loves inviting guests I use my culinary skills to entertain them and I know he is pleased," says Anne revealing her use of diplomacy and thoughtfulness.
For Jerome, "Couples today only criticise but never praise or encourage each other. Thus a conscious effort should be made to compliment each other. Love should be demonstrated. Physical intimacy should not be confined to the bedroom. Holding hands or placing an arm round the other's shoulders while talking or watching T.V. helps in fostering intimacy.
Marriage, like other institutions is a continuous process of learning."
Nothing is as complex as the man-woman relationship. Perhaps this quote from a famous poet sums it best. "As unto the bow the cord is, so unto the man is woman. Although she bends him yet she obeys him. Although she draws him yet she follows him. Useless each without the other."
Saturday, May 1, 2010
My article published in The Hindu on May 1st- Workers Day
Sweet fruits of labour
Hard work ha s more benefits than you realise
TOILING AWAY Working hard is very good
True and sincere labour uplifts the human race. Most of us work for wages. But few pause to reflect that more than material benefits our occupation reveals to us our own strength, temperance, diligence and instills faith in ourselves. Through work you discover yourself. It is said if heaven is blessed with rest, the blessing of mother earth is toil. Work thus justifies life.
Power of labour
Adam Smith, the father of Economics said that the original purchase money for all things was not dollar or pounds but hard and sincere labour. All the wealth of the world was thus originally purchased by labour.
Each of us has our unique style of work that sets us apart from our co-workers. So demand the best from yourself before others extract it from you. Don't simply work hard on a project but give it your individual best. For the foundation of true self-confidence and esteem is mastery over work. True happiness lies in the sense of fulfillment that arises after hard work.
"Chop your own wood and it will warm you twice," said Henry Ford. Rest and leisure can thus be truly enjoyed only after hard work. It is only continuous and committed exertion of our body, mind and intellect that prevents one from rusting.
The more one works the more willing one is to work more. Businessmen, professionals, manual labourers feel it is better to wear out after hard work than rust out after idleness.
Writers and artistes too assure that they don't wait for the mood or inspiration to set in before churning out masterpieces.
One accomplishes nothing by waiting for moods. For ideas and inspiration come during work and not before it. Genius often thus is a capacity to work hard.
Cure for maladies
Many maladies in today's world like boredom, depression, hypochondria, melancholy, complexes can be cured by proper employment. Such ills and woes are nothing but the body saying it needs work. In today's hectic life most people worry than work. It is thus worry that kills, and not work.
Perhaps nothing can be more arousing and motivating than the inspirational words uttered by Sam Goldwyn who said, "the harder I work the luckier I get."
Hemjit Bharathan
HEMJIT BHARATHAN
Hard work ha s more benefits than you realise
TOILING AWAY Working hard is very good
True and sincere labour uplifts the human race. Most of us work for wages. But few pause to reflect that more than material benefits our occupation reveals to us our own strength, temperance, diligence and instills faith in ourselves. Through work you discover yourself. It is said if heaven is blessed with rest, the blessing of mother earth is toil. Work thus justifies life.
Power of labour
Adam Smith, the father of Economics said that the original purchase money for all things was not dollar or pounds but hard and sincere labour. All the wealth of the world was thus originally purchased by labour.
Each of us has our unique style of work that sets us apart from our co-workers. So demand the best from yourself before others extract it from you. Don't simply work hard on a project but give it your individual best. For the foundation of true self-confidence and esteem is mastery over work. True happiness lies in the sense of fulfillment that arises after hard work.
"Chop your own wood and it will warm you twice," said Henry Ford. Rest and leisure can thus be truly enjoyed only after hard work. It is only continuous and committed exertion of our body, mind and intellect that prevents one from rusting.
The more one works the more willing one is to work more. Businessmen, professionals, manual labourers feel it is better to wear out after hard work than rust out after idleness.
Writers and artistes too assure that they don't wait for the mood or inspiration to set in before churning out masterpieces.
One accomplishes nothing by waiting for moods. For ideas and inspiration come during work and not before it. Genius often thus is a capacity to work hard.
Cure for maladies
Many maladies in today's world like boredom, depression, hypochondria, melancholy, complexes can be cured by proper employment. Such ills and woes are nothing but the body saying it needs work. In today's hectic life most people worry than work. It is thus worry that kills, and not work.
Perhaps nothing can be more arousing and motivating than the inspirational words uttered by Sam Goldwyn who said, "the harder I work the luckier I get."
Hemjit Bharathan
HEMJIT BHARATHAN
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